Parents of the Year
We were never given a manual on how to parent. It is easy to get overwhelmed to know the right thing to do. There is so much contradictory information out there and everyone has their own advice. Parenting is a rewarding but messy, confusing, infuriating, guilt-inducing, and overwhelming journey. While it's easy to get lost, Andrew Stewart, a real dad, and Dr. Caroline Buzanko, a real mom, child psychologist, and parenting expert (who also happens to be married to Andrew) will help you get back on track. In each episode, Andrew and Caroline have open and honest chats about everything parenting. Join them in honesty, laughter, and tears (Caroline is a bit of a cry baby) as they help you navigate this journey of parenting. And, every so often, you may get some gems of expert advice. Our goal is to make your parenting journey less stressful, more forgiving, and more awesome. Please join us every Wednesday for new episodes of Parenting of the Year.
Parents of the Year
169. What is a “Sandwich Parent” and how do we manage it?
What happens when you’re raising kids and caring for aging parents at the same time?
In this episode of Parents of the Year, Andrew and Caroline tackle the emotional, practical, and often hilarious realities of being part of the sandwich generation.
They explore how to model care, set boundaries, and have conversations with kids about aging, legacy, and showing up for family. This episode gives space for reflection and connection—with just the right amount of comic relief.
Homework Ideas
Use the following ideas to plan and navigate caregiving responsibilities for both children and aging parents while preserving well-being, boundaries, and family connection.
What Can I Realistically Offer?
Use the prompts below to explore what you can—and cannot—offer without burning out.
Time:
- What amount of time per week can I realistically dedicate to elder care or child support outside my full-time responsibilities?
- Which days or times are off-limits (non-negotiable)?
Tasks:
- What types of support do I feel comfortable providing? (e.g., transportation, emotional support, housework, medical appointments)
- What types of support feel overwhelming or unsustainable?
Boundaries:
- What am I willing to do?
- What am I able to do?
- What are my limits? (e.g., I can help weekly, but not daily. I can do groceries, but not full personal care.)
- What kind of behaviour or expectations would feel too demanding or draining?
Bonus: Keep a log of what brings joy in your intergenerational connections—this is as much about legacy as logistics.
Mapping Family Support
Who's in your village?
- List family, friends, neighbours, and community services that could support elder care or childcare needs.
- Identify who is good at logistics, emotional support, physical help, or companionship.
- Complete a support table with the following headings:
| Name | Strength (e.g., driving, emotional support) | How they can help | Willingness to help (1–5) |
Conversations to Start Now
With Parents:
- What are your hopes for future care?
- What support feels helpful vs. intrusive?
- What kind of support do you want or need right now?
- What’s already in place? (e.g., legal docs, executor, power of attorney)
- If you ever need more help, what would feel respectful and comfortable to you?
- What paperwork or decisions should we plan ahead for?
With Children/Teens:
- How do we support family members when they need help?
- What stories or skills can you learn from your grandparents?
- When have you felt proud to help someone?
- Invite them to teach or learn a skill with a grandparent (e.g., pancakes, pierogies, hemming pants).
Defining Your 'Why'
Return to your core values:
- Why do I want to be involved in this caregiving role?
- What does honoring my family mean to me?
- What lessons do I hope my children take away from this?
Visual Planning Tool
Use a weekly chart to track support plans, visits, and self-care needs:
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