We all know we need to take care of ourselves first before we can be effective parents. We always hear the analogy of how we need to put our oxygen masks on first in an emergency on an airplane before we put on our kids. And yet, so many parents don’t.
How come? Well, some believe it’s self-indulging or selfish. Some blame lack of energy. Or time. Time is a big one – we’re too busy taking care of our kids that we cannot carve time for ourselves. In the early years, it might be no time to shower, get dressed, or even go to the bathroom when we need to.
We need to be clear – self-care keeps us healthy emotionally, mentally, socially, and physically, which we need to be effective parents. Self-indulgence is binge-watching Netflix with a bottle of wine as your children cry themselves to sleep. Self-care though is what we need to keep our minds, hearts, and bodies functioning optimally.
We all likely know exercising regularly and getting enough sleep are important. But self-care includes the basic things we do to take care of ourselves, like brushing our teeth, eating healthfully and regularly, and getting dressed in the morning.
Self-care really is not optional. If you were sick with a medical concern, you’d likely go to the doctor right away. We need to address our personal well-being in just the same way so we don’t experience stress, anxiety, depression, and burnout.
In today’s episode, Andrew and Caroline talk about our need to engage in self-care. (And, Caroline introduced Andrew to the phrase, “We should all over ourselves,” which he thoroughly enjoyed.)
They acknowledge how hard self-care is, how they are failing at it, and one thing they can focus on to start taking better care of themselves. For themselves. For each other. And, for their children.
They also encourage you to take stock and make a plan. What are you doing well? What areas of self-care are you neglecting? What is one area you could make a priority and focus on for today, tomorrow, and the next week that would make all the difference in the world to help you respond to your kids in calm, patient, loving ways regardless of their behaviours? What is the first step you could work on today to move in that direction?
Check out the Parent’s Guide to Self-Care Caroline created to help parents get on the right track.
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